GREY MATTER

Saturday, July 3, 2010

Here's my story. Its why I'm here.

Beautiful ladies, money, drugs, booze, travel, REPEAT. This was my life for the last 7 years. If it wasn't one of those it was definitely the other(s). It's everything you see on T.V, movies, music videos. It was definitely the high life. (Jet setting off to anywhere you want is probably one of the most liberating feelings one can have) Bottle service in any city at almost any party. Drugs of any sort to warp our already twisted look on reality. But then one day i woke up, and i realized I was extremely empty. It dawned on me that I had become 'that guy' that was stuck in a dead end job that I HATED all because it paid so damn well. ($o $o $o damn well...) So i decided to leave it all behind. I wasn't sure what i was going to do all i knew was that I had to GET OUT of the black hole that had sucked away my human spirit for the so many years. So i left, with no plan, and no idea what i was going to do, swearing to never look back. To NEVER do something that I didn't LOVE doing, and I would go broke trying.

The first few months were delightful! I was free! Free to go and do whatever i wished! Nothing to stop me from finally being true to myself. Free to find myself and bring out the "real" me that I was suppressing for so long. I had a little bit of money saved (not nearly enough but oh well, i was free) But then a funny thing happened. --nothing-- Nothing had happened. I did nothing, I endlessly pondered and mused, but nothing materialized in my head. Days went by, then weeks, then the 1st month. "Holy shit! I've wasted a whole month?!?? I gotta get on this" Month 2 passes. "2 months have passed? What the hell have I been doing this whole time" 3 months, 4 months. It was official; I was lost.

With no direction and no plans i was in limbo. Suddenly i realized that I was always sleepy. I had no energy throughout the day. I could not get out of bed in the mornings, sleeping in 3hrs past my alarm everyday and every time I sat in a chair i would pass out. It was the strangest thing. I thought something was seriously wrong so I booked a doctors appointment. A couple blood tests later and viola! --nothing-- There was nothing wrong with me. I had always thought that it was all in my head but now i knew for sure.

Change was needed and it was needed fast! My idle mind was drowning my spirit and I needed to get back to the surface and get some air. I desperately needed something to fill my brain and ignite my talents again. I needed work!

Throughout my soul searching one thing kept looming in the back of my head. Parties. It's where it all started for me. I love throwing parties, and I'm fucking crazy at it. Most importantly I loved it. There was nothing more rewarding for me then to put my most creative ideas into an empty room and the product was an environment where people would, love, laugh, have fun and forget bout anything but that exact moment in time. It was my calling, and I had left it behind when the money was blinding me from all sides from my previous job. I was going to make my return to the one thing i loved and was passionate about in life.

A nuclear bomb had gone off in my head. Ideas and visions came pouring into my head from the cosmos. I had plans for all sorts of parties, concerts, even a concept for a promotions company. I practically jump out my bed in the mornings and I'm super charged all day long. I have visions of where I will be in a few weeks, months, years. I almost went broke (literally) but it never scared me once because I was revitalized and knew that I was finally on track and my new found energy would carry me through. Not a care in my world because I'M DOING WHAT I LOVE. (Turns out THIS is the most liberating feeling a human being can have) I've found it and I hope you find it too. And if not, I hope this blog helps inspire you in some way shape or form. That's why it's here. That's why I'm here. This is my story.


Donny.

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