GREY MATTER

Saturday, September 11, 2010

Why is Change so hard?


The conventional wisdom in psychology, in fact, is that the brain has two independent systems at work at all times. First, there's what we called the emotional side. it's the part of you that is instinctive, that feels pain and pleasure. Second, there's the rational side, also known as the reflective or conscious system. It's the part of you that deliberates and analyzes and looks into the future.
In the past few decades, psychologists have learned a lot about these two systems, but of course mankind has always been aware of the tension. Plato said that in our heads we have a rational charioteer who has to rein in an unruly horse that "barely yields to horsewhip and goad combine." Freud wrote about the selfish id and the conscientious superego (and also about the ego, which mediates between them). More recently, behavioural economists dubbed the two systems the Planner and the Doer.
But, to us, the duo's tension is captured best by an analogy used by the University of Virginia psychologist Jonathan Haidt in his wonderful book The Happiness Hypothesis. Haidt says that our emotional side is an elephant and our rational side is its rider. Perched atop the elephant, the Rider holds the reins and seems to be the leader. But the Rider's control is precarious because the Rider is so small relative to the Elephant. Anytime the six-ton Elephant and the Rider disagree about which direction to go, the Rider is going to lose. He's completely overmatched.
Most of us are all too familiar with situations in which our Elephant overpowers our Rider. You've experienced this if you've ever slept in, overeaten, dialed up your ex at midnight, procrastinated, tried to quit smoking and failed, skipped the gym, gotten angry and said something you regretted, abandoned your Spanish or piano lessons, refused to speak up in a meeting because you were scared and so on. Good thing no one is keeping score.

The weakness of the Elephant, our emotional and instinctive side, is clear: It's lazy and skittish, often looking for the quick payoff (ice cream cone) over the long-term payoff (being thin). When change efforts fail, its usually the Elephant's fault., since the kinds of change we want typically involve short-term sacrifices for long term payoffs. (We cut back on expenses today to yield a better balance sheet next year. We avoid ice cream today for a better body next year.) Changes often fail because the Rider simply can't keep the Elephant on the road long enough to reach the destination.

The Elephant's hunger for instant gratification is the opposite of the Rider's strength., which is the ability to think long-term, to plan, to think beyond the moment (all those things tat your pet can't do)

But what may surprise you is that the Elephant also has enormous strengths and that the rider has crippling weaknesses. The Elephant isn't always the bad guy. Emotion is the Elephant's turf- love and compassion and sympathy and loyalty. That fierce instinct you have to protect your kids against harm-- that's the Elephant. That spine-stiffening you feel when you need to stand up for yourself-- that's the Elephant.

And even more important if you're contemplating a change, the Elephant is the one who gets things done. To make progress toward a goal, whether it's noble or crass, requires the energy and drive of the Elephant. And this strength is the mirror image of the Rider's great weakness: spinning his wheels. The Rider tends to overanalyze and over think things. Chances are, you know people with rider problems: your friend who can agonize for twenty minutes about what to eat for dinner; your colleague who can brainstorm about new ideas for hours but can't ever seem to make a decision.
If you want to change things, you've got to appeal to both. The Rider provides the planning
and direction, and the Elephant provides the energy. So if you reach the Riders of your team but
not the Elephants, team members will have understanding without motivation. If you reach their
Elephants but not their Riders they'll have passion with0ut direction. In both cases, the flaws can
be paralyzing. A reluctant Elephant and a wheel-spinning Rider can both ensure that nothing changes.
But when Elephants and Riders move together, change can come easily.

**Excerpt from the book "SWITCH: How to Change When Change is Hard" by Chip & Dan Heath**

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